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Wired For: 🎧 Fenvian Child
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This Ain't My First Heatwave
(Intro)
(Sparse Rhodes piano, a single, deep bass note resonates)
The water's still tonight
Surface like a sheet of glass... too good
Yeah, I know this calm, I've learned to never trust it to last...
(Verse 1)
I walk the shoreline, check the charts in my head
Memorizing every kind and careless word you said
You look at me with clear-sky eyes and a gentle hand
But you're walking on a fault line you will never understand
I'm not living in this moment, I'm just bracing for the next
Holding my own breath against the pounding in my chest
(Pre-Chorus)
And oh, the pressure drops a single damn degree
And a shadow in the deep starts stirring back to life in me
(Chorus)
This ain't my first heatwave, baby
This ain't my first boiling sea
You look confused when the water gets rough
But this temperature's familiar to me
Yeah, this ain't my first heatwave, darling
So don't you be surprised when I break
'Cause my heart holds the memory of fire
For goodness sake
(Verse 2)
You came along and scorched the coral in my bones
Turned my placid water world to simmering stones
Bleached the color from the life I built beneath the blue
Every current that I swim in now, it still remembers you
So when your tide comes in a little high, a little strong
I start fighting back a feeling that I've known all along
(Pre-Chorus)
And oh, the pressure drops a single damn degree
And a monster that you made starts looking back at me
(Chorus)
This ain't my first heatwave, baby
This ain't my first boiling sea
You look confused when the water gets rough
But this temperature's familiar to me
Yeah, this ain't my first heatwave, darling
So don't you be surprised when I break
'Cause my heart holds the memory of fire
For goodness sake
(Bridge)
I am fighting tides you cannot see, right here inside my head
Battling the phantom undertow of words we left unsaid
You make a hurricane for me out of a careless sigh
And I can't explain the storm that's building in my eye
It's not you... it's the weather you walked into...
(Breakdown Chorus)
(Music pulls back to just sparse piano and a heavily reverbed vocal)
This ain't my first heatwave...
No, it ain't my first boiling sea...
You seem confused... why the water's so rough...
But it's all so familiar...
(Outro - Full band crashes back in, powerful and soaring)
THIS AIN'T MY FIRST HEATWAVE, DARLING!
SO DON'T YOU ACT SURPRISED WHEN I BREAK!
MY HEART HOLDS THE MEMORY OF FIRE!
MY HEART IS A SCALDING LAKE!
(Music fades on a single sustained organ note and the sound of gentle waves)
The water's warm... it's always warm now...
About The Song
This song translates a scientific concept into a deeply human story. Inspired by the news that scientists can now map the ocean's "memory" of past marine heatwaves, "This Ain't My First Heatwave" uses this idea as a powerful metaphor for emotional trauma and PTSD. A person who has endured a devastating emotional event—a "heatwave" from a past relationship—carries that thermal memory within them. The song's protagonist is in a new, potentially healthy situation, but their past experience has made them hyper-vigilant. Small, innocent shifts in the emotional "temperature" trigger a massive, protective, and destructive reaction. It's about the exhausting work of surviving trauma, where you are forced to manage a constant internal storm that no one else can see. It's not about being broken, but about being forged in a fire that never quite goes out, embodying the FenVian principle of using external events to unlock profound internal truths.
Production Notes
Genre: Soul / R&B / Power Pop
Vocal Influence: Teddy Swims, Hozier, Rag'n'Bone Man.
Vocal Chain: A vintage-style tube microphone (like a Neumann U 47) running through a clean but punchy preamp (Neve 1073) and a gentle optical compressor (Tube-Tech CL 1B). The goal is to capture raw power and intimate vulnerability with minimal processing. Vocal performance must be dynamic and authentic, embracing breath sounds and even emotional voice cracks.
Arrangement: The song should build from a very sparse intro (Rhodes/Wurli and bass) into a full-band explosion. A live-sounding drum kit, a melodic and deep bassline, and a soulful Hammond B3 organ are essential. A string section should enter in the second half of the chorus to lift it. The bridge must be a dynamic contrast—pull everything back to create a sense of internal monologue before the final, huge outro.
Mix Automation: Use automation to create space. Verses should feel tight, dry, and intimate, with the vocals right in your ear. The choruses must be wide, powerful, and slightly saturated. Use reverb and delay throws on key vocal phrases, especially in the bridge and outro, to enhance the feeling of a vast, emotional ocean.
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