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Wired For: 🎧 Fenvian Child
(`NO COVERS`)
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Learning To Keep You
(Verse 1)
White-knuckle waiting in a room that's much too clean
I read the warnings printed on the monitor screen
My chart is full of failures, a long rejection list
A history of every single cure I couldn't fix
So when you walked in steady, with a kindness in your blood
My body threw the alarms, braced itself against the flood
This doesn't feel familiar, it's not the pain I know
My system's trained for poison, not for anywhere to grow
(Pre-Chorus)
And my pulse is a question mark, hammering my wrist
Fighting off a future that I don't know could exist
I'm rewriting the code just to let your goodness in
Don't know where the fight ends or where you can begin
(Chorus)
They gave me every drug to keep the hope from failing
I'm learning to keep you, my body's still rebelling
This strange and foreign heart you placed inside my shaking chest
Is beating like a promise, and my scars can't do the rest
Yeah, my scars can't do the rest
(Verse 2)
Each day's a new procedure, a careful, fragile test
To see if you're accepted, to put my past to rest
You don't demand a ransom, you don't bargain for my soul
It’s a different kind of damage, being offered something whole
My blood runs diagnostics every time you say my name
Searching for the symptom of a well-rehearsed, old game
But the labs are coming back clear, says the toxicity is gone
So I take another breath and try to keep holding on
(Pre-Chorus)
My pulse is a question mark, hammering my wrist
Fighting off a future that I don't know could exist
I'm rewriting the code just to let your goodness in
Don't know where the fight ends or where you can begin
(Chorus)
They gave me every drug to keep the hope from failing
I'm learning to keep you, my body's still rebelling
This strange and foreign heart you placed inside my shaking chest
Is beating like a promise, and my scars can't do the rest
Yeah, my scars can't do the rest
(Bridge)
For so long the cure was just a cleaner way to break
This is not a ceasefire, it's an overwhelming ache
An ache to be rewritten, to let my defenses fall
And build a life inside these compromised and fragile walls
I am not just recovering, I'm holding a new front line
Actively deciding that your future will be mine
(Chorus)
They gave me every drug to keep the hope from failing
I'm learning to keep you, and the warring is now trailing
This brave and foreign heart you placed inside my shaking chest
Is beating like a promise, now my love can do the rest
Yeah, my love will do the rest
(Outro)
Lab reports are good today...
The sutures hold, I think they'll stay...
Learning to keep you...
Yeah, I'm learning to keep you...
About The Song
Inspired by the medical breakthrough of a successful pig kidney transplant, "Learning To Keep You" translates this scientific marvel into a raw, human metaphor for emotional healing. The song isn't about the procedure itself but the feeling of accepting something healthy and new after a long history of trauma and "rejection." For someone accustomed to toxic relationships, genuine love can feel like a "foreign organ"—unfamiliar, scary, and something the body's defense mechanisms instinctively want to fight. The lyrics deliberately frame this as an active struggle (an approach dictated by the Active Agency Mandate), where the narrator isn't passively experiencing fear, but is consciously 'fighting their own body' and 'rewriting the code' to accept a love that will ultimately save them. It's a song about the difficult, courageous process of allowing yourself to be healed.
Production Notes
Genre: Electro-Pop / Soul
Influences: Tate McRae's rhythmic phrasing, Teddy Swims' vocal grit, Post Malone's genre-blending authenticity.
Vocals: A raw, powerful lead vocal is critical. Use a Neumann U 87. Vocal chain should be an LA-2A compressor for warmth and body, followed by a Pultec EQP-1A to add air. The performance needs to show strain and release; the pre-chorus vocals should feel tense and slightly behind the beat, snapping into place for the explosive chorus. Heavy use of parallel compression (the "New York" trick) on the chorus vocals to make them pop without losing dynamics.
Arrangement: Verses are sparse – a deep, pulsating 808 synth bass, a ticking hi-hat like a hospital monitor, and melancholic pads (Arturia Juno-6V). The pre-chorus builds tension with rapid, staccato synth plucks. The chorus explodes with a wall of layered harmony, a powerful four-on-the-floor kick, and a slightly overdriven lead synth line that mirrors the vocal melody. Sidechain the reverb and synths to the kick drum for a modern, pumping effect.
Mix: Keep the lead vocal front and center, almost uncomfortably intimate in the verses. Automate the stereo width to expand dramatically in the chorus, creating a sense of release and overwhelming emotion. The outro should strip everything back down, with vocal ad-libs heavily processed with delay and reverb, fading out like a patient drifting off.
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